nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
