I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
