dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
