So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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