you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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