This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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