Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
