How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
