He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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