I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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