Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
