ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
