I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
