you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize