that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
