Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
