i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
