420 ftw
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
