$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
