I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish you could order shots online.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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