Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
