it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
