I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
