So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
