Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
