my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
worst night to have a conscience
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
