Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
