Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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