dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
