I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
