Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
