scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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