Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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