Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
