you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
