That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
