I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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