bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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