He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I intend to get homeless drunk
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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