Just fell off a train. Bad.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
