i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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