She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
