Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
