Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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