apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
