the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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