dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
