she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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