You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
