You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
