The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
